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unashamed's Journal
20 entries back

Date:2003-07-01 15:42
Subject:out of it.

so we are totally our of our lease that we signed. we got our money back and now i have to go cash the check so i can divy(sp) up the money to jason and bruce. now on the look out for another place. we saw a place yesterday that looked cool and well we have called the number several times and it says something like theres to many calls being made so your call can not be connected or something along those lines. its crap. dont know whats up with that. oh well. if we dont get through, we will just go to the house and break in and start moven out stuff in. then we'll see how fast we get talked too. hahaha welp, im off to the bank to deposit the check.

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Date:2003-06-30 13:11

so bruce called me today and his mom talked to linda or whatever the chicks name is that takes care of all the money stuff and crap for the house we were gonna get. and he said his mom wa son the phone for like 5 minutes and were getting all our money back around 500 tonight. so thats sweet. now im gonna head on over to his place and were gonna go look at places and then go back to his crib around 400 or so so we can go get our money back around 500 and then go out to eat and then i head to work at 730. fun fun fun. and well, im glad we getting our money back cause i didnt want to have to really injury anybody or their house. linda be thankful i got the support here of my thong to hold my piece so you dont get smacked by it in the eye or mouth or ear or where ever it might land on your body. hahahaha

so here is something i found out today..... try it you might like it. if not you suck.

Happy Deathday!
Your name:unashamed
You will die on:Monday, August 27, 2029
You will die of:Spider Bite
Created by Quill

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Date:2003-06-30 01:39
Subject:what a day

so sunday was suppose to be a wonderful day. let me just say it wasnt. so last night at the place we just signed the lease for, you remember it? well anyways, we go there last night. its me, rachel, jason, bruce, terry, (sorry terrys girlfriend i cant think of your name right now, sorry i suck so bad!)fulome, star, and doug came over. they were all impressed by how big the place was. and well, then came the crap. cockroaches were found. we killed like 8 of them last night. so bruce and i wanted to bug bomb the joint last night but i dont think jason really did. im glad we did though. today was suppose to clean everything day and get stuff moved in. we didnt clean a bloody thing cause of all the dead roaches. bruces folks came over and his mom went off. long story short.....his mom is gonna get us our money back one way or another. i just dont want to get things screwed up and this to go on our "record" or anything. anyways, i dont feel like talking about this anymore. im tired of talking about the house crap. thats all thats been talked about today. lets talk about something else.

how about danny.
so for all you chubby gay guys out there. hes single and super hot. maybe you should ask me about him and ill hook ya up with some info to get in touch with him(only if i think ya seem cool enough for him).

ok, not lets talk about 28 days later. i thought this movie ruled! bruce jason and megan didnt think it was all that. star and i liked it and i think fulome did too. im not sure though for sure.

oh my gosh. i jst got nailed by a title wave of sleepyness. im gonna head to bed. hopeflly tomowwor can he startedholla with ya lata on

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Date:2003-06-27 04:04

ok so tonight i went out with jeff and rachel to a gay bar in cinci called the dock. this was my 2nd time there and rachels first. jeff has been there i dont even know how many times. both times ive gone, hes driven. anyways, so tonight i was hopen this one guy would be there. he ended up showing up. BUT he went up and started talking to somebody else and then they finally ended up leaving together. and so well, before they left, im just thinkin to myself.....this is so gay. why the crap did we come down here if jeff was just gonna sit there? we all just sat there for i dont know how long. its like whats the bloody point? this really upset me. jeff heard me asking rachel this and was like, im waiting for a good song. ok, whatever. so there were these strippers there too. and well, jeff really likes this one. and so well, jeff goes to the bathroom or something and then comes back grabs rachels hand and they are off. im like, uhm, ok. they come back like 5 minutes later. im like ok, whatever. i had no clue what they went to do. as i find out, jeff took her over there so she could see the stripper he likes. so i was bored of sitting there so im like rachel im gonna walk around and come back(by this time jeff was dancen) and so i go over to the other side of this joint and "my dude" is sitting at one of the bars talkin with this guy. so i stop and look at him for a sec and then go on back over to the other side. i walk by the dance floor and dance with jeff for like 10 seconds(im not a dancer) and then go sit with rachel. this place blows. the only thing that makes it good is the fact that this one cute guy is there. and even then, it still sucks cause hes a drinker and a smoker. but anyways. we all go over to the other side of the bar where jeffs man is at and he shows me him and gives him a couple ones. jeff gives rachel a couple ones to give him too. they find out hes bi. and they like, man he should strip at your birthday party rachel. so jeff goes and talks with him about this and finds out hes 75 dollars for 2-3 hours plus whatever tips he gets. sounds pretty darn cheap to me. anyways........ that is a some what kinda long story that can be condensed into this..........bars/clubs suck. you smell like smoke afterwards. cant hear cause the music is so darn loud. and feel like crap cause you realize people were just lookin at ya like a piece of meat and really dont care to get to know ya other than MAYBE what your name is so they can scream it while doing ya in the poop chute(which is gross to begin with and could be talked about in great detail as to why thats so gross, but ill save that for another time).

ok im tired and need to get to bed. we pay our first months rent saturday. im so stoked about this!!! already got like 11 boxes packed and got quite a bit more to go. i probably shouldnt of gone down to cinci tonight cause i should of stayed home and packed, such is life though. i think im doing a good job. its not like i need to be out by any certain date. ive pitched alot of old papers and such. next time i move(if there is a next time) mores gonna get pitched. but for now, i got rid of alot. im proud of myself. getting rid of alot of clothes too(well, alot for me to get rid of since i keep everything). cody took most of my posters i didnt want anymore and i pitched the rest. and mike took most the cologne too. maybe cody took all the brute so it wont just get pitched. oh shot, i need to check my work clothes, hopefully they clean enough. shirt will be cool, but i dont know about the shorts. speakin of clothes for work, i need to get another pair of shorts since i wont have a washer and drier to do laundry whenever i need to anymore. so i need to get a back of pair in case they get dirty one day at work. ok....well...as i said........i need to get to bed so i can run into work before im suppose to be there so i can get my check and deposit that puppy so ill be cool and have enough money to cover rent and all. yup yup.

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Date:2003-06-18 04:34

ok so i dont know if you read the comments or not...........BUT if you do you know how i got frustrated a couple weeks ago. and well, tonight im a little frustrated and dont care about spelling right now or capitalizing words. im just mad. im mad because i was typen away with a super long entry and my puter just freezes on me. i had to reboot and so i lost everything that i had typed. and well, as of right now, i dont feel like writting anything cause its so bloody late. yeah i need to go to bed. so off i go. ugh. if i could get a back rub right about now, things wouldnt seem so bad for me right now. aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh ok i feel a little better after taken a nice deep breath and holding it in for a sec and then slowly exhalen. maybe you should try this too. im gonna do it again, join in this time.......in hale deeply through your nose. hold it. now exhale slowly through your mouth. and repeat......feel better? i do.

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Date:2003-06-12 01:01
Subject:tired yet energized

ok, so i did some working out tonight. i rode the bike 15 km and did some lifting of weights and stretching as well as those calf things when ya stand on a "step" and go up and down. it was sweet cause i also listened to several 7" i hadnt listened to yet too. i dont have a record player anymore cause my belt broke so it sucks. ive bought all these "new" records off ebay and different thrift stores and well, i wasnt able to listen to em. but i listened to some of em tonight on the record player i went in and bought for my dad for a christmas present i think it was a couple years ago with my sister and brother. and so anyways....yeah mushmouth rules!!! as well as fable. id love to be in a band and be a singer for a band like mushmouth. and well, actually, thats why im working out too. so i can get in shape so i can be a singer for a band. right now theres no way i would be able to last a set and have it be a good one. so, im working out. have to get those muscles use to being used so i can jump around, jump off people, walls, and just simply tear the place up. hahaha

so yeah......

i went to columbus today. it wasnt the best time, but it was alright. hung out with tony and vanessa and tonys cousin and one of their friends. we went to some place called magic mountain i think. im shocked they can have that name. isnt that something at disney world? anyways, we rode the go carts. tony got kicked off of em for hitting vanessa a couple times and then for mouthin off to one of the workers who was telling him not to do that. so after that i wasnt haven as much fun. thats not cool at all. scroog a bunch of that. i hate people with mouths that dont know when to shut em. he said something like minimum wage fool or something. i felt bad for the kid that works there. then tony was like, why cant ya get a job at a funner place? what the f? man dude shush it now. dont make me slap ya!

well anyways, i got to get a going. alarms going off way to early and i got a long day ahead of me. work 7-330 and then pickin jeff up and were going to check out this building at 430 on troy street to live in and have a studio there too. and then goin to kings island if mother nature is nice to us and then comen back for the thursday ritual and then to some bar jeff wants me to go to with him in cinci. not really my thing, but your welcome jeff. hehehe

so im off.

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Date:2003-05-23 15:21
Subject:feel like bung

so im feeling like bung right now. i should be getting ready for work, but im not. well i guess i kinda have cause i already got a shower, but that doesnt count. i need to get dressed. i was going to try to go in early today since my dude russ isnt gonna be there, but as you can tell, that didnt happen. i feel like butt. and for those of you who dont know, thats not a good thing. i think i feel bad cause i ate so much RIGHT before going to bed and im not suppose to do that. im suppose to avoid fatty foods as well. and well, i had a veggie dog and a cheese burrito and nachos as well as 3 glasses of chocolate milk. thats so much food. im retarded for eatting so much. i forgot i had the veggie dog and fixed the burrito and then was like, man i cant be full yet, whats up. it then hit me when i was laying in bed that i had a veggie dog before i had anything else to eat. man im stupid.

so anyways, ive pooped twice today so far and thats not normal for me. i have thought i was going to puke like all day so far too. so far ive been able to hold the acid down, which is good. i dont want to burn my throat. my throat feels like i had a knot in it sometimes too. thats from the acid reflux burning my esophagus(im a bad speller).

since im not feeling the greatest i do not know if i am going to go camping with amy and jason tomorrow. i would love too, but i dont know if im going to feel up to it though. if it rains though, i definitely aint in. i dont want to go if its suppose to rain, which i think it is. amy also needs to recognize that her ghetto car is going to take like 4 fill ups to get to west virgina and back. thats like almost 90 dollars. scrog a bunch of that!! either jason or i should be the ones to drive so then we only have to get gas on the way down and then the way back. that would make more sense to me, but then again, im the one with a brain. hahaha.

off to work i must go. ugh

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Date:2003-05-21 17:18
Subject:felt like writting

so last night i felt like writting in here and it wouldnt let me. it kept saying something like the page couldnt be found. i even rebooted and tried again. still did no good. so i thought i would try before going to school tonight. guess what....it worked. wish it would of worked last night when i had more time. i still need to read a chapter before school so thats why i dont have much time. actually, i should probably get back to reading, ugh. how boren!! oh well, it needs done if im ever gonna get off my butt. off i go.

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Date:2002-04-03 13:26

well.....i changed stuff around last night and uploaded a pic after a long time of trin to save my pic in a thumbnail size. i couldnt figure out how to just save it as a thumbnail in either adobe photo deluxe or mgi photo suite, so i had to keep maken the pic smaller and smaller. finally i made it small enough to go.thank God i have patience. now if this patience of mine would stay while i try to figure out how to add a pic to my entry page. for some reason i can only get it on my info page, whats up with that? if anybody reads this, which im sure they wont since i havent used this or talked to anybody on here in forever(except for last night...what up?), i guess ill just have to keep it the way it is until some bright idea pops in my head or some lucky charm(or you place your name here) reads this for some odd reason and fills me in on how to put pic up on my journal page

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Date:2002-04-03 01:26
Subject:why do i do this?

why do i start writing and then stop as soon as i started? i hate it when i do this? i always say i aint going to do this, but i always end up only writing for a day or two so it seems. i think i need somebody to pinch my butt to get me writing more and stayin on focus instead of strayin off the path i want to take. speakin of that path.......im thinkin about buyin a bike to do some kinda physical exercise other than unloading trucks and doing carry outs at work. im also thinkin about going back to school and taken some film classes and possibly some communications classes and maybe get to work on their radio station too, who knows though. im also wanting to get my butt in gear and get some equipment to start recording bands too. and ive been thinkin about started to help put on shows as well. ive got alot of stuff going through my mind right now which im sure im not going to be able to do alot of it, but hopefully ill be able to do most of them in 1 way or another. im also thinkin about moven. not just moven out on my own or well with a room mate finally, but moven out of dayton. possibly out of ohio. maybe this will happen after i get some classes done and i have some more experience and background. and after i finally get some projects done to prove to myself i am worthy and able to do this shiznit that i want to do. man im also wanting to buy these fish eye kinda things for my camera and camcorder as well. and a video card so i can export video i edit to vcr and then dubb this stuff so i got a master copy and all. i would now like to thank amy for getting me to use this thing again! thank you amy, i love you!!! you rawk hard! if it wasnt for you sending me a link to your journal, i wouldnt of come here again most likely.......well i think im done writing for now......gonna try to change my page around and upload a pic or 2......hopefully ill be able to figure this out!

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Date:2000-10-25 02:12

alright, i just got home from jeffs and i saw a killer show over there tonight. its a show ive seen commercials now for some time. the shows called something like fear. its on mtv. i wish i didnt work friday nights so i could watch it cause it was pretty darn fly tonight. yes i know it aint friday but you know how mtv plays all their show slike 100 million times or so it seems. and well they played it tonight. and man it looks so scarey if i was to be one of the people that were there locked in a empty old jail. this show gets ya thinkin. what else is out there? what will happen to me when i die? ive had supernatural experiances before and well man, i think the crap would have been scared out of me if i was there with them as it seemed it had before. i have had the crap scared out of me several times in the past and well i dont think that any of the times except for the time on the hill come even close to this. at least with the time on the hill sleddin chris and i were kinda together. we had flash lights and were in "open" space. these folks are in tite quarters and are in like total darkness just about, and well that would be totally freaky! (if anybody wants to know more or hear what im talkin abotu with the sledding experiance, just ask away)

earlier today i went to compusa to buy me a puter or well at least look at em. the new sony puters are out and they got em finally. ive been contemplatin buyin either a sont or a mac for some time now. yes i know they are 2 totally different platforms, but well, they what i been drawin between. when i get there im kinda in the mood to buy me one. im walkin back to the back where the puters are and guess who i see? mr jeff lucke. man oh man. we kepe runnin into eachother out like this. we need to hang sometime and go sk8in. i miss our group sk8in on monday nights. id like that to start back up cause that was some fun. well anyways...........he had no idea why he was there cause he didnt need anything. we kidna both think that he was there to stop me from buyin a puter tonight and regretting it later on. he has a job where he builds puters so he was like man if you want to build one im all for helpin ya. we chatted for what seemed like hours. we exchanged digitis so we should be hookin up shortly. he was also sharen with me about baptism and his new church. and all hes bene up too. he is such an awesome kid. hes been through so much its unreal. it seems like the last several times we have seen eachother we have both kinda been goin through the same things but yet totally different, if that makes sense to ya.

well i am off, got to go to bed and catch me my zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's

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Date:2000-10-15 02:00

all, im gonna say is WOW!!!!! this week has been pretty darn amazing! it started off on like monday at work seein a friend i havent hung with in like forever. well he and his fiance were gonna go to see downset on wednesday and he was like dude if ya want, you can go with us. so that was totally awesome cause i didnt have anybody to go with me, and well i wasnt sure on how to get to bogarts. so we went to the show and i thought that they were totally awesome. the other bands that played with em were, well poop except for soulfly. primer 55 and slave on dope blow goats. i wanted to go to cleveland(actually requested it off) thursday to see downset up there, but that didnt happen cause well i aint about to drive like 3 hours to a joint i never been to before all by myself....................

well then last night went to a show after finishint he truck at work and i didnt get tehre till like 1130, but it was all good even though i missed the band i wanted to see. actually i pretty much missed all the bands play. i stood outside with all kindsa kids i knew and we kicked it out there. i would have loved to have hung with em more at dennys(where everybody went when the show was over) but i was like i cant guys and gals i got to be at work at 700. so i didnt go even though i would have loved to have hung with nate, jess, jess(yes i know 2 different jess') tyler, josh, and who knows all else. so i went home and hoped on line and then went to bed shortly after that.

now i woke up alright this morning and well, work didnt go to bad, except i heard that 2 people might be quiting and i dont like that all because of stupid people in the store(1 being our new gm and the other being stinky mr grim reaper) but anyways they both stories on themselves. so i came home after work and took a little nap and then woke up and well i eneded up goin to another show tonight. the show musicially wasnt to bad. i missed the either 1 or 2 bands im not sure. more friends were there tonight, some of which were there last night at the same place(knights of columbus hall on berkart in dayton)jeremy apland was there so that was awesome! i hadnt seen him in awhile. i kinda miss that kid. and john was there again and well i love this kid to death and im sorry to say that hes goin through some rough times right now. he now smokes and drinks and well he was against that stuff like i am so i dont like to see that. im hopefully gonna be hanging with him here shortly. i think hes gonna go to food not bombs with me, so that will be awesome! before i go any further i got to mention there was this chubby kid at the show tonight who ive seen in at work and watched him cause hes so addorable and well i kept my eyes on him tonight too. i kinda think he was doin the same to me, but im not sure. if i see him at another show i think i might have to just grab his butt and go from there. he reminded me some of jeff. he was totally addorable. he was signing along with the band i went to see tonight too so that was awesome cause that meens hes into good music and not backdoor boys, nstink, 98 buttplugs, or brittney queers like jeff. after the show i went over to jeffs. he totally has a crush on this kid he knows. we looked at pics and he kept rubbin em and well i know he had a stiffy lookin at the pics. its alright though cause i was lookin at another guy myself. so oh well. and well now i need to be goin to bed so i can be waken up to get ready to go over to my uncles tomorrow for a little get together. so thats all for now. well talk later on.

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Date:2000-10-09 01:54
Subject:crazy night

so like tonight was the night for the hay ride for church. it was kinda weird. the night started off alright. i knew it was gonna be kinda cold, so i dressed appropriately in pants, a hoodie and a jacket bringin along my bear usa taboggan and gloves. once the hay ride started it started to sprinkle. it was alright cause it wasnt comen down to bad. then it started to pick up and we were like lets go back, but then on the way back, it stopped and it wasnt feelin to bad on the hayride except for the wind blowin every once and a while so we kept on riden along. well it started to rain again and so we were on our way back to the fire(where we started from) to get out of the rain. once we got back to the fire it had calmed down. next thing ya know, it started hailin. then it started raining and then it stops again and we are cookin hot cats(prefer to say cat cause i love dogs and i dont want to eat something i think are addorable, i HATE cats) and marshmellows either plane as i like em or some people made smores. next thing ya know it started hailin again. what a night for a hay ride! i think this year will be remembered. it was cool though because i didnt hear people complain or moanin about how poopie the weather turned out. people still had a good time no matter what was going on. we got to know eachother(well some of us) better than we did before. it was a good night even though it hailed on our hayride.

well not only was it weird there, but allison who took me and travis there and back, well she was driven crazy tonight. we did like a & sign or something one time cause she got on to route 4 at the wrong exit so we got back on to valley street and then got back on 4 goin the opposite direction. she then took another wrong exit latter on, boy she was trippin tonight. oh well we got there and back safely so thats whats important.

after we got back to church i called mr jeffery up to see if he wanted me to come over. i get there and hes got a fire going first fire(inside) of the year for both of us-well excluding last winter. i was happy to see him cause we hadnt seen eachotehr in a couple days. i had pist him off so i was glad we got to see eachother tonight! i hope he does good on his test tomorrow since i kept him up late being over there so late. im sure he will! i got faith in him. hes a smart kid! enough for now, im off to bed.

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Date:2000-10-04 15:44
Subject:a good day

today is a good day. i talked to a kid on here who i have had on my buddy list for some time now. i finally immed him after seeing his name on my list several times. i found his name via the bme personals. for thos out there who dont know.......bme=body modification ezine. we chated for about an hour or so, maybe more maybe less, time passin by i aint good at guessing, but id guess more. and well because of him, i got this journal deal now. so thank you booda. we had a good chat about alot of things and from what i see on his journal, he needed our talk, so im glad i saw his personal on bme and immed him today. i now have to call russ at work to see if he wants me to get him a shirt at the show tonight. im going to see anal cunt(yes i know very un pc) and i hate that c word so i dont like sayin their name either, but it is what it is so i got to say it. im goin to columbus tonight to see that. im gonna miss food not bombs yet again this week because of it too. i havent been in like a month because of work. i changed my availabilty and well im not gonna go this week or next week cause im gonna see downset and soulfly(im going for downset though.) welp i got to get going to get up to columbus. later later

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my journal